Lesson #17: There is BEAUTY in the icky MESS

For the past few weeks I have dealt with quite a bit and frankly, I’m tired.  I wanted to write but did not want to vent my frustrations and my hurt out onto you guys.  Then I got to a point last week where I just didn’t want to write at all.  I’m sure I had several experiences to learn from and to share with you but they were clouded by things going through my mind.  Then yesterday happened and even though I’m still hurting I could not pass up this opportunity to share a lesson that was very loud and very clear and of course, very icky.

My 8-month old baby girl is moving – quickly I might add – and getting into everything! If you have ever had a little one in your house, then you know what that means.  It’s time to get on the floor and move around as you spot the little things they will spot and put into their mouths.  Unfortunately, some of us by the third child may not do this proactive thorough inspection.  Instead, we vacuum (maybe) and then run shouting, “noooo!” as we try to stop them from putting something into their mouths.

Well, yesterday, I was very proud of myself because I got a chance to clean and vacuum in the middle of a school day, while having a very successful potty training day with my toddler and all without it interrupting the school day.  YES! So of course, I was very surprised to hear my daughter choking as I was teaching.  After all, what could she be choking on? Without hesitation, of course, I ran, picked her up and scooped my finger through her mouth.  It wasn’t easy because my joyful healthy baby loves to eat, smile and keep things from you (and she just so happened to be doing that all at one time). I had no idea what was in her mouth.  Surprisingly, I was very calm yet actively pursuing this thing that she seemed to not just be choking on but still chewing.  I went in one more time trying to scoop whatever it was out without causing her to go into a panic.

“Lord, help me.” Within seconds of me saying this, out came her lunch all over my cute black outfit I put together just before my husband left for work. Down it went, inside and outside my shirt, down my pant leg, onto my shoes and finally on the exercise mat we just put down for my toddler to practice her tumbling skills.  With my older two looking how I felt, they simultaneously said “ewwww, that’s disgusting.” While my baby girl was smiling and trying to grab hold of the mess that just came out of her, I went searching for whatever it was that she was choking on.  Nothing!

As I wiped up the last bit praying that whatever it was doesn’t hurt her and that it comes out at some point, my daughter (sitting right next to me) coughed and out came bottle #1 (breakfast)! Immediately, I had to scoop her up because she grabbed something and tried to put it back into her mouth (did I mention that some of my lessons learned were pretty icky?!?) As I searched through this icky mess, I finally spotted a long and wide piece of clear plastic! I still don’t know where it came from but the lesson that hit me right away was “Just wait. There is beauty in the mess. Don’t miss it.”

The plastic, that was the cause of the mess, wasn’t beautiful at all; but, the fact that my daughter was no longer choking and that she was okay was beautiful.  Whatever you may be going through right now is not pretty or beautiful at all.  The cause of the icky mess is awful! Calling the situation as it is…Awful, ugly, horrible, unfair…But the end result, the stuff that comes as a result of the icky mess, as a result of the thing that even caused the icky mess, yes, that stuff is beautiful.  Sometimes, I get caught up in trying to figure out what’s causing the icky mess that I miss what needs to be done and ultimately my search (or obsession) with trying to figure it out, causing to overshadow the beautiful end result. Therefore, instead of continuing to search for something that was not there, I began to clean and pray.

The icky mess could not remain on my floor.  That would be just gross.  Just like the icky mess in your life, can’t just remain in your life.  You have to clean it up! How do you do that? With every wipe, I prayed.  With every tear, I will pray for those involved. With every question, I will take to God. With every down mood, I will hug my children or my husband (he LOVES those).  With every doubt, I will wipe it away with a thankful picture. This icky mess will not remain in my life.  I am on a mission to get it cleaned up! I don’t know exactly what’s causing the icky mess but it will eventually come out.  However, I’m no longer looking for what’s causing the icky mess.  I am now looking for the BEAUTY that will be the result of the icky MESS! I don’t want to miss this one!

Lesson #4: Feed Your Family First

I have been working on preparing the night before and up until Sunday, it was working.  Sure, it had only been three days but those three days were an epic success. Then Saturday night-Sunday morning happened.  Every now and then, I forget that I’m not as young as I use to be and I decide to pretty much pull an “all-nighter” getting things in order or watching a movie or just hanging with the hubby.  It wasn’t until 3am, that I realized I have to get up in less than 4 hours to get ready for a very busy Sunday.  Clothes were laid out and everything except…

“Oh my goodness, I forgot to give the kids breakfast!” I yelled, smacking myself on the forehead, as we headed to church.  My 2 year old was already at the church for Awana Puggles with my sister-in-law and getting ready for Toddler Worship.  I rush into the church, all bags in hand and following my husband to the Toddler room.  As soon as I approach, I see my daughter give me this look that broke my heart.  You know the look that your children give you when they receive one of their first series of shots? That look they give you right before they let out their painful cry? That look that says, “why are you doing this to me. I trusted you.”  Yep, that look! Then the dreaded words come out of a loving and caring adult’s mouth, “ [She] said she’s ‘hungry.’ Did she eat breakfast this morning?” UGH! Right in the gut.  CRUSHED!

As they lovingly took care of my daughter, I walked up the stairs to set up for youth ministry. The ladies did not judge me but, they didn’t have to. I already did.  “Feed your family first” I kept hearing as I set up the room for the older children to come up.  “Feed your family first.” It was so clear and so repetitive, that I had to stop and sit down.  I kept the tears in but the guilt I felt wasn’t going away as I saw my daughter’s face over and over again in my head.  “Feed your family first.”

After a while, I knew the words were from my loving Savior but the condemnation that set in was not.  I slowly got up and reminded myself that this was a lesson that I needed to learn and one that we can all use a reminder.  “Feed Your Family First.” Sometimes we get so busy with life and others that we tend to forget to give our family the best of us.  I managed to go to the store and get snacks for the youth ministry but did not get my children anything to eat.  I didn’t even check to see if my husband was okay in the midst of all the hustle and bustle.  (He’s a very timely person and we were really late.) I didn’t even thank him for all his help that morning.

“Feed your family first.” This doesn’t just mean physically.  We need to give the best to our family – spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally – instead of giving them the scraps (what’s left of us). As we seek the Lord, feeding ourselves, we should realize that all He has for us to do, He will give us the strength, the time and the ability to do it.  BUT we must then “feed our family first” and then other second. Wives, this especially goes for us in the area of “feeding” our husband’s first instead of giving them what’s left of us at the end of the day (and usually we give them sleep).  So without going into too much detail, wives, you know what I’m talking about!

So, please remember, in all the hustle and bustle of life and the responsibilities that we know God has given to us, “FEED YOUR FAMILY FIRST!”

“Jesus told her, ‘First I should help my own family…’”

Mark 7:27a